It's been a pensive, introspective week here at the WWBBHQ and today is no exception.
Question: What would cause a dog to bark incessantly throughout the night?
This is not the dog that belongs to the weird bald guy who lives in the house behind you, the dog that is ALWAYS left outside and likes to bark for hours on end especially when you are trying to nap or between the hours of 2:00 AM and Just Before The Alarm Sounds AM. No, this is a dog that belongs, let's say, to your Lovely Sister and you are dog sitting for a few days. And the dog has been to your house before without incident (unlike, say, a different hypothetical dog that also may or may not belong to your hypothetical Lovely Sister, a dog who chose to hide in the clothes dryer the last time it slept over). Point of fact: this dog is old and sleepy and so is usually no trouble at all, save the snoring and the occasional food thievery.
But let's say, for the sake of argument and exposition, this dog, FOR WHATEVER REASON, began barking at 2:00 AM. Naturally, we tried to interpret the bark to gauge whether or not we would be required to leave the bliss of bed to remedy the situation…
Q: Is it a someone's breaking in bark?
A: No. The bark lacks the ferocity of attempted domain defense.
Q: Is it a will someone please get that other dog away from me bark?
A: No. We can reasonably ascertain by the decibel level of "licking and scratching" vs "bark-bark-bark" that the other household beasts are nearby and the dog in question is not.
Q: Is it an I miss my own home bark?
A: No. The bark does not exhibit a mournful quality.
Q: Is it an I've fallen and can't get up bark?
A: No. The bark is not frantic, nor does it seem intended to summon assistance.
Q: Is it an oh dear, I've gone and locked myself in the lavatory bark?
A: Perhaps.
Upon investigation, we find the dog in the kitchen, barking at the spot where an old chimney was recently removed. (No, it's not a this place is a hazard! clean it up! bark, as the spot has been neatly repaired, drywall and all. ASIDE: Thanks, Bruce!)
Barking. Barking with the monotonous, methodical consistency of a jackhammer in 4/4 time.
Why? WHY??
We tried to coax the dog upstairs, but our attempts to soothe, relocate and even reprimand were in vain. After a break of nearly half an hour, the barking resumed. Again and again. And again.
Then – daylight! And…the barking resumed.
We took a shower, drank some coffee, fed the birds, threw around some dog toys. And yet, barking. Unabated.
Being the methodical, scientific, reasonable types of people we are, the Bulletin Boards Mr. and Mrs. have thus concluded the barking was a result of:
1) Rodentia in the walls,
2) Ghosts, or
3) Spite.
Any other theories would be greatly appreciated.
Li'l Googs
In other news…
Are they really competitors? Google vs. Twitter.
Have you a Google phone? What about this one?
Google: not sweating it.
Firefox add-ons…now anyone can write one!
1.6 TB on a DVD-sized disc? But how?
Orangutans aren't so great after all: filial cannibalism.
